Teach me to fly
by Prideth
Summary: Jazz is new at school, but she brings with her a troubled past, she tried to commit suicide. When Yugi meets her he recognises her, but he doesn't know why. Lemons and Yoai in later chapters.
1. All that Jazz

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Yu-Gi-oh characters, but I wish I did, especially Yami, or Bakura, or Joey, or even Kaiba…yum. I do however own Jazz; she came from me, as did this story. There really is a book called 'Postcards from No-Mans Land,' and everyone should read it, will totally change how you look at the world, it is also really sad. The chemistry lesson is quoted from NAS chemistry, student book II. I don't own Bwitched or their song.

This is my first fan fiction so tell me what you think. Thanks.

Summary: Jazz is new a school, and brings with her a very troubled past, which in turn will affect every person she meets, what is it about her brother she doesn't want to discuss, who does Bakura remind her of, and why did she try to commit suicide… am absolutely crap at summaries, but enjoy the story.

Chapter 1: All That Jazz

"Hey, watch it," grunted one kid as he pushed past Jazmin. She lost her footing and fell to the ground, dropping her books everywhere. Jazmin gave an angry sigh, it was her first day at Domino High, and things were not starting well.

More people started pushing past her, all in a rush to get to school before the bell rang, and all were full of stories to tell of their Summer Holidays. Jazmin scrambled round on the floor, trying to pick up all her book before they got trod on to much.

As she reached out for her Trig book her hand collided with some ones. As Jazmin looked up to apologize, she found herself drowning in a pair of intense blue eyes. All words died on her lips as the eyes held her gaze. She felt heat rising to her cheeks, and then suddenly realized that she was blushing. Dipping her head to conceal her embarrassment, she let her long black hair cover her face.

She reached for the rest of her books, and with his help she managed to pick up them up without them getting too damaged. When they were done the boy sprang gracefully to his feet and held out a hand to help her up.

"Hi, my name's Joey, you must be new to the school, especially if you haven't learnt to get here early to avoid the rush, me I'll never learn."

"Hi, my name's Jazmin, but everyone just calls me Jazz. Your right, I am new, I just moved here from England, and I feel a little lost, you couldn't help me, could you?" Jazmin asked with a hopeful smile, this school was like a maze, she would never be able to find her way around without help.

Joey looked back at her for a moment, totally staggered. When she smiled this girl was beautiful. Maybe he wasn't too sure about the hot pink highlights in the hair, and she wore just a bit too much make up for his liking. Her face was a little too narrow for true beauty and her bones stuck out at awkward angles, as if she wasn't used to her body, but when she smiled it was like turning on a light, she was radiant.

Joey realized he was staring and shook himself a little before replying, "Just tell me where you have to go and I'll take you there, I was completely lost in my first week as well, I know how it feels. Which homeroom are you in and I'll take you there?"

Jazz opened her black cord shoulder bag and pulled out an already torn and ripped timetable. Joey started staring at her again, her full lips, her lilac eyes, he found her stunning. "Ummm… Oh here it is, Mr. Fox, room B. 12"

"No way," exclaimed Joey, "I'm in that class too, and so is my best bud, Yugi. I'll introduce him to you, I'm sure you'll like him."

With that he took of, weaving through the crowd and keeping up a constant stream of talk to Jazz as he did, "… and Yugi's Grandpa owns a gaming shop, which sells loads of stuff for duel monsters, do you play duel monsters, I do and to start with I was really crap and even lost to Tea, but no I'm really pretty good, Tea's a friend of mine, I'll introduce you to her, and Tristan, and Serenity, my sister, and Ryou. You'll like all of them, and look, here we are. Ladies first," With that Joey opened the green door and did a mock bow for Jazz to enter the room.

Most people were standing by or sitting at desks, but as she entered all eyes turned towards her. Jazz had never felt more intimidated.

"Come and meet Yugi," said Joey as he grabbed her elbow and steered her over to a desk where a short boy with the coolest hairstyle Jazz had ever seen.

_Wow, who would ever think of dying their hair black, maroon and blonde? That is awesome, _thought Jazz to her self as she drew closer to Yugi.

"Hey Yugi, I want you to meet Jazz…"

Joey was suddenly cut off as a short fat man walked into the room. He instantly reminded Jazz of a Penguin.

"Could you all take your seats and I will do the roll," wheezed the man in a high pitched grating voice.

Jazz immediately sat down in a desk next to Joey. On her other side was a stunningly pretty girl who was sitting there filing her nails. She glanced over at Jazz, and then got back to her nails, a look of utter contempt on her face.

Mr. Fox took the roll, and then looked round the class and asked if anyone was new. Jazz hesitantly put up her hand and Mr. Fox beckoned her to the front of the class.

"Why don't you tell us a little about yourself," he wheezed before shuffling back to his seat.

"Umm, hi… My name's J-J-Jazz," she looked helplessly at Joey pleading with her eyes for him to save her. He gave her an encouraging smile so she carried on. "I have just moved here from England, my Dad was transferred over here because of his job. He works for Kaiba Corp."

At this a slow smirk appeared over one boys face. He was sitting at the back of the classroom. His brown hair looked perfectly groomed, and he had an expensive looking trench coat on. Jazz wondered who he was.

"My mum's a nurse. I have a twin sister and an older bro…"suddenly Jazz broke off and her eyes misted over for just a second then she shook her head slightly and carried on. "I play the bass guitar and in England I was in a band called 'Voodoo Love', and that's about it, oh, and I play the dance as well."

_Tea will like that, _thought Joey with a smile, it looked like jazz was going to fit right in here.

With the Jazz walked back to her seat, and she could feel the eyes of the boy at the back of the class on her. She sat back down, and found herself blushing again. Joey was light and fun and she found his cheerful mood infectious, and already she was attracted to him, but then there was the boy at the back. He was the total opposite to Joey to look at with dark brooding eyes, and dark hair. He also wasn't normally her type, he looked to serious, but there was something about him, she felt almost drawn to him.

Finally the bell went and Jazz headed for the door with Joey and the short guy following. Soon they were out in the busy hallway, and Joey was showing Jazz where her locker was.

"Jazz, this is Yugi, Yugi this is Jazz. Yugi is the one who's Grandpa owns the Game shop I told you about."

"Hey Yugi," said Jazz shyly. Although he was a lot shorter then her, something about him intimidated her, as if she had know him before, and she had been afraid of him.

"Hey Jazz, so your from England, I bet that was nice." Yugi sighed, he would love to travel, and see the world. Something about Jazz puzzled him though, she reminded him of someone, as if he had met her before.

"Yeah, the weather wasn't so good, and the culture was really different, but I think that I'm going to like it here."

"That's good, but how come you speak Japanese so well? You speak with barely any trace of an accent."

Jazz's eyes clouded for the second time that day at that innocent question.

"My parents died when I was seven. My adoptive parents were both Japanese, but living in Europe. They brought me up to be bi-lingual. I can still remember my parents though it was 10 years ago, I still remember their voices, and I still remember their eyes, sometimes I wake up in the morning and for those 10 minutes, I can imagine that it was all a dream, and I will go rushing down to see them, that will never happen though… Sorry, I kind of went on for a bit there, didn't I," and Jazz tried her best to smile.

_Wow_, thought Yugi_, I really put my foot in it there didn't I? _

"Do you play Duel Monsters" asked Yugi quickly, trying his best to change the subject. Joey was still looking at Jazz with a shocked expression on his face. Yugi could tell he wouldn't be much help.

"Well sort of… I don't have a very strong deck, but I enjoy dueling whenever I get the chance to play. Maybe you could teach me a few things?" added Jazz with a mischievous grin, this time a real smile.

_She's a flirt isn't she, _whispered Yami to Yugi; _she also looks like a challenge, we're going to have some fun with her, _and with that Yugi suddenly felt as if he was being pushed to the back of his body and his Yami was taking over.

Jazz glanced back at Yugi, and had to a double take, he looked older, his eyes had changed, as had his hair, and he seemed more confidant.

_What is happening, am I imagining things now, _wondered Jazz.

"Jazz, you'll come and sit with us at lunch, won't you. You can meet all our friends and it will fun," Yami let a slow, sexy smile spread across his face. Jazz felt a flip in her stomach, as she let her eyes travel slowly down Yami's muscular, well defined body in his tight leather pants and white t-shirt.

"I can't wait."

"Therefore, high temperatures, or if a catalyst can be found, the kinetic barrier to the attainment of equilibrium can be overcome and reactions can proceed to equilibrium relatively unimpaired."

Suddenly the bell rang, and jazz's eyes flew open. She had just slept through double chemistry and didn't have a clue what the hell her teacher was on about.

"For homework, please do pages 73 and 74, all questions."

_Oh great,_ though Jazz_, how am I going to do that._

With that final though, Jazz picked up her books, and headed for the door. She wasn't looking where she was going, and she crashed into someone. For a moment she felt a strong muscled chest pushing up against her.

"Watch where you're going," grumbled a deep Baritone voice.

Jazz looked up and glimpsed the brown haired man from homeroom, before he pushed past her and hurried down the hallway.

Well, well, well. I think I'm going to have fun here. So many hot guys … but who do I choose? And with that Jazz was walking down the hallway, following the groups of people to where the lunch hall was.

"Hey Joey, Yugi, can I sit here?" Jazz was balancing a lunch tray in one hand, and an open book in the other.

"Sure, sit down. What are you reading?" asked Joey, his nose wrinkling in disgust at the thought of actually reading a book.

"Oh… it's a book called 'Postcards from No-Man's land.' It's a fantastic book. This guy goes to Holland, and learns a lot about himself, his past, and his own sexuality. Maybe I'll lend it too you some time, it could teach you a few things," Jazz's eyes sparkled with laughter at the look of horror on Joey's face, "or maybe not."

"HEY JOEY, YUGS, HOW YOU DOING?" yelled a voice from the other side of the lunch hall.

Jazz turned to see a quartet of people walking towards them, two girls and two boys.

"Hey guys, I want you to meet Jazz, she's new to the school, and has just moved here from England," said Joey as the four people sat down at the table.

"Always manage to find the pretty ones don't you Joey? Hi my name Tristan," Jazz gave the brown haired boy a slight smile, "and this is Tea," with that Jazz turned to see a pretty girl with short brown hair who gave her a small wave, "and Serenity, Joey's sister," and Jazz turned to a girl with long auburn hair, who looked slightly younger then everyone else. "The white haired guy over there is Bakura."

As Jazz turned to look at him, something about his piercing brown eyes and floppy white hair reminded her of someone. A sob caught in her throat and she made a retching noise, as if she was about to throw up.

Suddenly she violently pushed herself away from the table and ran out of the hall.

For a moment the friends stood stunned before Tea asked hesitantly, "do you think one of us should go and see if she's alright?"

Suddenly Yugi was pushed to the back of his body, and Yami had taken over. "I'll go, see you all later, at the shop," and with that he was walking away for m the table.

_I wonder what has upset her, _thought Yugi.

_I'm sure I can use my natural charm to find out,_ Yami chuckled.

Suddenly he turned the corner, and found Jazz throwing up in a trash can. Yami went up gently behind her, pulled her hair out of her face, and held it like that until she had finished.

Finally she pulled her head out of the bin, gave Yami a small smile, and slid down to the floor in a gap between two blocks of lockers. She closed her eyes for a few minutes and calmed her breathing down before talking.

"I'm sorry, I…I… oh, this is hard."

Yami slid down beside Jazz, and put a comforting arm on one of her knees. Jazz liked it there.

"Bakura looks like someone I once knew, he brought back some memories, bad memories, these sort of memories," and with that Jazz removed a thick studded leather cuff from around her wrist.

Yami's eyes widened in shock as he saw a cruel scar puckering the otherwise smooth skin of her wrist.

_She tried to commit suicide, what makes someone so desperate they feel like that is the only way to escape._

Suddenly jazz leant over to Yami, and sweetly, but all too fleetingly, she presses her lips against his.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that, I barely know you," Jazz looked at Yami, her eyes red and puffy from crying, "please forgive me."

Yami's response was to pull her closer and to kiss her again, this time with more passion. He could feel her tongue flicking around his mouth, exploring everywhere it could reach, her desire was evident.

_Oh God, I shouldn't be doing this_, thought Jazz desperately, _but it feels so good, and I just need someone to hold me, to hold me and to protect me from the world, and Yugi's so **nice.**_

Slowly, reluctantly, they pulled apart and looked into each others eyes for a moment.

"Come to the games shop tonight, all of us can hang out," and with that Yami was gone, leaving Jazz sitting their wondering what had just happened.

Jazz was sitting curled up in a chair in Yugi's grandpa's game shop. She felt so much more comfortable now, in clothes she was used to. A short black mini skirt and black leather thigh high boots, with a see through top with spider webs printed on it was the usual sort of attire for Jazz. She also wore a studded leather collar, and a lot of black makeup. The cuffs were still on her wrists, and only Yugi knew what they covered.

"Hey Jazz, let me see your deck, I'll tell you what I think," called Yugi from the other side of the room.

Slowly Jazz uncurled her long legs, causing all the guys to stare, and walked over to Yugi, holding out her Duel Monsters deck. Then she saw Ryou sitting quietly in a corner of the room, he looked so shy, and Jazz knew there was something she had to do.

She walked over to him, and sat down beside him. "I'm really sorry about today, it was nothing personal, you just reminded me of someone I would rather forget. I hope I didn't offend you."

'That's okay, none taken, but I was just a bit worried that I had done something to offend you" Jazz smiled at his soft English accent, which was so similar to her own.

Suddenly the CD in the sound system changed and Bwitched came on, singing 'Like a Rose'.

Jazz couldn't help smiling and leant over and whispered in Ryou's ear.

"Don't tell anyone, you'll ruin my tough girl image, but I love this song."

Ryou laughed at that, and Yugi glanced over. He couldn't help feel a stab of jealously as he watched them. He may have only known Jazz a day, but there was something about her, something familiar, she reminded him of someone, someone who had once been important to him.

_You feel it too? _Asked Yami, _why do we remember her?_

Jazz was now softly singing in a clear descant voice

**Every little word,**

**With every lesson learned,**

**I think I now why hearts are made of stone,**

**Every little pain,**

**Fans a bitter flame,**

**But nothing stops me loving you.**

These words had a special meaning to Jazz; they reflected her feelings about her past. They brought back memories which she had long ago suppressed, they brought back such a tide of mixed and confused emotions Jazz felt herself about to loose control. Her voice started to waver and the tears began to flow freely down her face.

Again she stood up and walked out of the room, leaving the friends looking bewildered at one another for the second time that day.

_I came here to escape you brother, forget my past, forget the men, and the beatings and you, and still you haunt me, still you follow me, will I never be free? _Jazz walked out of the shop, on to the street and headed for her adoptive parents house, the place that never could be, never would be home.

Wonder what all the secrets Jazz are keeping, what made here attempt suicide, and who are all the men she keeps thinking of, who is her brother and why is she trying to escape from him, why is she adopted, and why won't it ever be home?

So, what did you think, please give me your opinions, no flames, just tell me what you think I can do to improve it.


	2. Girl with the Broken Smile

Disclaimer: I disclaim.

The quote is taken from Moulin Rouge which I also do not own.

Chapter 2: Girl with the Broken smile

As she ran along the streets Jazz became worried, she didn't know where she was. Some of the houses seemed familiar, but Jazz couldn't be sure. She hadn't lived here long enough to know her way intimately round the streets of Japan, as she had been able to navigate the streets of London.

_Maybe there is someone who I can ask directions from, _thought Jazz, but as she lookedaround her all she saw was forbidding stares or ugly leers from the people on the streets. _Great, I'm lost; I have no idea where I am, and my parent's are going to be mad at me. Not what I need after my first day at school._

Despite her parents adopting her only a few years ago she had instantly started calling them Mum and Dad. Maybe it was because she needed parental figures in her life; someone to cling to and go to for help, but it was never home. For her home was a dangerous place, with her brother waiting for the prophets of her trade, and more often then not, a 'friend' of his, who would be drugged up to the eye balls, and could be as violent as her brother. No, for Jazz it was far safer to think of it as the house where her parents lived, home was not a place she would look forward to going.

A car pulled up beside her, and immediately Jazz tensed. The car was old and rusty, and so dirty Jazz couldn't tell what color it had used to be. Heavy rock music was pounding out of the speakers, and the guy sitting in the car didn't look any less ominous. He had shaggy black hair, was wearing a bandana and was wearing an earring shaped like a dice.

"Hey, jump in babe; I'll take you where ever you want to go." He leered at her, allowing his eyes to run over every curve of her body.

Jazz couldn't help but give an involuntary shudder. She knew that look too well, and she knew what this guy wanted.

_This place is going to be different; I will not let this happen. _Jazz felt terrible. One look from this man brought back terrible memories. Memories of her brother, her customers, her friends who had turned on her, called her a slut, a whore. They were right of course, but it still hurt, she wasn't doing it because she wanted to, she was paying for her brother's addiction. No, she had sworn that it was going to be different over here.

"No, thanks, I would rather walk, but you could do me a favor, how do you get to this street," Jazz held out a small slip of paper with an address on it. Her parents had given it to her that morning, before she left for school, because they knew that she would never remember the address, and never remember how to get back to the street. The guy looked at her for a moment, clearly reassessing her.

"Sorry, I looked at your clothes, and what area of the city you're in, and I assumed something I shouldn't have. My name's Duke by the way, and sorry again." He held a hand out of the window, clearly wanting Jazz to shake it. She was still slightly nervous of him, but she wasn't going to let that show. She reached out a black taloned hand, and took his in hers.

"It's O.K, most people do assume, the worst when they see me," what Jazz didn't add was that, back in England, they were usually right. "I'm Jazz."

Duke smiled up at her, pleased that the misunderstanding had been cleared up so easily. "O.K, to get to your house, you follow this road as far as it goes…"He proceeded to give Jazz a long list of directions, which left her reeling.

"Ummm…you don't want to still give that lift do you," she asked with a sheepish grin, I would never be ale to follow those directions." Duke just smiled at her, and reached over to open the passenger door.

On the way back to Jazz's house, she and Duke talked, a lot, and they found out that they had loads in common. When thy pulled up out side the house it was getting dark, but Duke placed a quick kiss on her cheek and handed her a folded up piece of paper.

Jazz gave him a quick dazzling smile, before slamming the door shut, and running into the house.

Her parents were waiting for her, angry scowls on their faces. Jazz knew what was coming.

"Where have you been young lady, you're late, this is just not good enough…" It would go on and on. Jazz had no respect for their authority, she loved her parents, but she had no respect for them. Jazz had no respect for anyone, not even her self. For too long she had defied authority, so now it meant nothing to her.

She listened to what they said, and walked off, leaving them standing there. She went to her room, the only room in the house with western influence. Her she felt safe, here was her sanctuary. She could drop all pretences, all of the act. She could cry here and no one need know, her room was a refuge when it all became too much.

She turned to her CD player and the heavy beat of all Slipknot music came from the speakers. She loved this music because it reflected all of the pain inside her, all of the anguish; it was a way of release.

Jazz walked over to her wardrobe, moved all of her old clothes from the top shelf, and picked up a razor blade. The clothes were all brightly colored, a memory of a happier time, a time before the black took her.

She hurried to her bathroom, which was joined on to her bedroom. Locking the door behind her, Jazz sat on the edge of the bath. She pulled up her skirt, and looked at the cruel scars snaking up her legs. Soon there would be more joining them.

Jazz looked at the Razor, the light glinting on the blade, and she bit her lip. She knew this was wrong, that she shouldn't do this, but it was the forbidden fruit, and Jazz couldn't resist it. With one quick motion she sliced he blade across her thigh. The pain was exquisite, and Jazz gave an involuntary shudder as she saw her crimson blood, her life, flowing down her leg. She sliced her leg again, and then again, until all of the tension had flowed out of her body, all memories of today washed away with the blood, the pain, the mistakes, all of it gone.

Jazz washed away the blood, cleaned her leg up and opened the door to go downstairs. She hid the razor back under the clothes and turned the CD player off. Life was routine. That was good. Routine was safe.

As she headed downstairs she had to withstand the disapproving looks of her parents, but she sat down and ate all of the food they put in front of her with out complaint. Complaining never helped, and only degraded you; Jazz had learnt this from her time with her brother as well.

After Jazz had headed back upstairs and was playing her guitar as loudly as possible, her parents just sat and looked at each other. When they had adopted Jazz they knew that she came with a troubled past, but they wished an older child, and they were sure they could work through her 'problems'. They hadn't been quite prepared for what they got. They knew about the cutting, and her past history, the suicide attempt and the reason why, but they felt weak and powerless to stop Jazz's decline. She needed someone who was strong, and they knew that they weren't enough. They felt useless, and knew that they would have to do something drastic soon, something they may live to regret, but something that could save Jazz, if only she wanted to be saved.

* * *

Yugi was lying in his bed, wearing only his navy boxers. He was thinking about Jazz, how pretty she was when she smiled, how desperate she had looked before she had kissed him, how sad she had looked when she had run out of the games room. He had been thinking about her all day, and he had no idea why. Why he noticed every little thing she did, every little thing she said, every expression of her face, every movement she made, her soft lips pressing down on his.

_Why, why does it always go back to the kiss? It was a mistake, and shouldn't have happened. _Yugi could feel despair settling like a black cloud on his heart. He didn't even know if Jazz liked him, or if she had just needed someone and he was there. These feelings were ripping him in half.

_My dear Yugi, you know you felt it too, the silver that bound you, you are one and the same, you are meant to be. _Yami couldn't stand his light, part of him feeling like this. He loved his little Yugi,and couldn't stand the pain and anguish he was feeling. _Have you ever heard of the soul mate principal? _Yugi just shook his head, feeling puzzled. _It was a theory developed around the time I was Pharaoh. It claims that in a person's life time they will meet the one person they will truly love, their soul mate. Incidents of this showed that the people felt silver binding them, or a cord, shining like moonlight. I know you felt this when you saw Jazz, she is your soul mate. _Yugi started grinning at this, this meant that Jazz hadn't kissed him just because he was there, she loved him, and they were meant to be. Yami felt these feelings emerging from Yugi, and felt that he must warn him about something. _It may take her a long time to realize what it is she is feeling. Something bad happened to her in the past, I can sense that much, and that she has not received much love, and she does not know how to give it. You may have to stick with her through every thing; things that will cause you pain, and will cause her pain. You must always be there for her, and one day she will realize what she has always known, and then you will be together. _Yugi's euphoric mood left him at that, and he sat down heavily on the bed. He hadn't had many girlfriends, but he had been sexually active for a while, and he and Joey would go out some nights and pick up girls. Staying by Jazz until she finally realized what she wanted didn't really appeal to Yugi all that much, but if what the pharaoh said was true, well then, Yugi didn't have all that much choice.

He rolled over, turned on his music and went to sleep, dreams of Jazz filling his head.

* * *

Joey was lying in his bed, tracing patterns with his fingers on the pale back of the person lying in front of him. What would his friends think if they found out? Joey wasn't sure he wanted to find out. The person rolled over and quickly caught Joey's lips in a passionate kiss, which said more then any words could. 'Love me, don't leave me', it was exquisite.

Joey ran his hands up the well muscled chest, loving the feel of the silky skin under his fingers, before moving up to the adorable floppy white hair. Ryou was amazing, and Joey knew that he loved him.

"Hey sleepy head, think you should be getting home soon, parents might begin to worry," whispered Joey softly in Ryou's ear. Ryou groaned in reply, before kissing Joey again, and allowing his hands to slip down beneath the covers. Joey moaned with pleasure and kissed Ryou back, all thoughts of sleep, and parents forgotten.

Sometimes love is sweet and pure and innocent, the feelings expressed, but never demonstrated. Sometimes love is brutal and desperate and needy, the desire taking over, and the participants surrendering to their lust completely. Love can be bitter sweet, and can carve wounds deeper then any weapon. To live without love is like not living at all, and to grow up without love, without people you can say care for you is terrible. ' The greatest thing you will ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.'


	3. Ghosts

Chapter 3: Ghosts

Everything was red, the walls, the ceiling, and the bed, red. Jazz looked at her hands, and they were red to, red like blood. On the bed lay a man, blood dripping down his bare chest, dripping on to the bed. On the floor there is a knife, blade stained red, handle stained red, floor stained red. Jazz is crouching in the corner, and everything goes black. It is only her now, her and a white haired man, a man holding a knife. He kneels in front of Jazz, brings the knife up to her throat and whispers in to her ear, "Scream for me baby". She screams…

…and wakes up in her bed, dripping with sweat, but safe. This dream came to her every night, and every night she would wake up, covers thrown off the bed, and her self dripping in sweat. Even in Japan, her brother would still haunt her.

She slipped out of bed and headed for the bathroom. She splashed her face with cold water, and tried to steady the shaking. She looks in the mirror, and sees her brother staring back at her. Her parent had died 10 years ago when she was only six. It had been a robbery at a shop. They were there and caught in the cross fire. Jazz had seen her parents die. Luckily she was already fluent in English and Japanese, so she could cope over here. After that she had been through a series of foster home with her brother, until they were old enough for him to look after her. It was at this time things started to go wrong. She was 12 at the time. First started the beatings, then the drugs, and soon her brother had worked out that he had the perfect way to pay for his little obsession, Jazz. She first sold her self, her virginity when she was 13; the guy who paid was at least 40 and a fat business man with a taste for young girls. Soon Jazz was used to it, the older men, the men who would beat her, the men with their sick little twisted fantasies, Jazz had had them all, but here would be different. Here was different already; she was making friends, a new thing for her.

It was lunch time at school and Jazz was sitting with on the grass, smiling and laughing with Tristan. Joey and Bakura were there, and Jazz couldn't help noticing that they were very touchy feely. They made it seem like a joke, but Jazz could see the tender expressions in their eyes when they smiled at each other, and Jazz was getting a sneaking suspicion that there was something going on between the two. Serenity was lying on the grass, sleeping, and Yugi and Tea were in the library, Tea helping Yugi with their already heavy work load.

Jazz was having a great time with Tristan, he seemed so happy, and he had a great laugh. Jazz liked him a lot, and couldn't help thinking that the kiss with Yugi had been a mistake.

_I have to tell him that it was a mistake; I can't let that get in the way of what might be happening between me and Tristan. I hope it doesn't fuck our friendship up, 'cos I really like Yugi, there is something about him, but something is happening between me and Tristan, and if it is going to happen I should just let it. _Things were going well between Jazz and Tristan, they had lots in common, and they could talk for ages, without any awkward pauses.

"Hey Jazz, you know you said you wanted to see more of Domino, I take you to the one place which really matters, it's a club called Bar None. You'll love it." Jazz smiled at that, she loved to go clubbing, and she would have great company. She was sure her parents wouldn't mind, but if they did she would go anyway.

Jazz smiled at Tristan and nodded her acceptance, already planning her head what to wear. The bell rang, and Jazz gave Bakura and Ryou a small hug, Tristan's lasted slightly longer, was more intense, and he could have sworn that he felt Jazz's lips brush past his cheek.

He didn't like to admit it, but he did find Jazz incredibly attractive. He felt bad because he knew that Yugi liked her as well, and he really didn't want to hurt Yugi, but he found her so hard to resist. It was almost as if she had bewitched him…and he liked the feeling.

Jazz was in her room, clothes strewn across the floor, bed, chair, desk, and every other available surface. She wanted to be dressed just right for tonight. Tonight had to be just perfect.

She was standing in a tiny red thong, and a red and black lace bra, but Jazz hardly felt happy at what she saw. Her thighs were littered with scars, like spiders webs, weaving their way across the skin, the scars on her wrists were red and angry looking, an eternal reminder about what had happened, and the rest of her was pale and emaciated. Still, with some good clothes Jazz was sure she could make herself look better; she had had many years of practice at this.

_Hmmm, maybe the black miniskirt, the one with the slit up it…yes that looks good, and then, the thigh high black leather boots, yes…not bad, and for a top, what can I wear for a top? _This was something that Jazz had done when she had lived with her brother, kept a running commentary of whatever she was doing. It was a way of escaping from his penetrating gaze, and keeping her concentration on whatever she was doing.

Suddenly she heard a cars horn, and knew that it was Tristan, coming to pick her up with a group of his mates, all of whom had left school.

The car was a battered red Honda, with music pounding out form the speakers. The guy in the driving seat was hitting the dashboard and there was a stunning blonde girl hanging all over him. Tristan was standing outside of the car, waiting for Jazz. He gave a small whistle when he saw her.

"Wow, you look stunning," he said with a stupid grin all over his face. Jazz smiled, she hoped she did. She had put a lot of effort into this outfit. Her top was technically a black leather bra with a few extra straps snaking their way around Jazz's stomach and hips. It revealed that Jazz had her belly button pierced, and a small snake tattooed on her shoulder blade. Tristan's jaw was on the floor, he had never seen anyone look quite as good as Jazz did.

"Your carriage awaits you, my princess," he said with a grin.

Jazz slid into the car, Tristan not far behind her. He draped a protective arm around her shoulders, and didn't say anything for the rest of the journey; he just had a stupid grin on his face. Jazz couldn't help admiring him though. He really was very good looking. He was wearing a crumpled wine red shirt, and a black trench coat, and his hair was gelled up to the seemingly impossible angle it always was.

Soon they reached Bar None, and Jazz couldn't help smile as they pushed past the long queue and walked right in.

"The bouncer knows us, we come here a lot, and we know the owner, it gives us certain… privileges," Tristan said as they walked through the doors into dark smoky club.

"Looks good," said Jazz with a grin, "lots of dark corners to get lost in, and the music's not bad either."

"Want a drink? We might be meeting Yugi, tea, Joey and Ryou later, but I thought we might want a bit of time to ourselves first."

Tristan led her over to the bar, where he simply signaled to the bar tender, and two Bacardi Breezers appeared in front of them. Jazz knew that she shouldn't be drinking, she was too young for one thing, but she felt the need to escape, and this was as good a way as any.

Suddenly the song changed and Jazz recognized it.

"I love this song," she squealed, "come and dance with me," and she was off towards the dance floor, dragging Tristan by the hand behind her. Soon they were on the dance floor, colored lights and smoke machines everywhere.

Jazz placed her arms around Tristan's neck, and he pulled her close, hands resting lightly on her hips. They started moving in time to the music, hips grinding together. Jazz could almost feel the passion between them, as she rested her head on his shoulder. They kept on dancing, bodies moving perfectly together. Jazz had never felt anything like this before, to be so close to someone, but for them to have no expectations from her. Anything that happened would be her choice, and would be something that she wouldn't regret.

Looking up into Tristan's endless brown eyes, so deep you could drown in them, Jazz knew what she wanted, she wanted something to happen, so gently and hesitantly she kissed Tristan, soft full lips pressing down on his. For a moment he was too shocked to do anything, but then he found himself kissing Jazz back.

They kissed with more and more passion, mouths opening to allow tongues and lips to dance. Despite what Jazz had been through with her brother, she had never felt desire, or lust like this. She wanted Tristan bad, that much was obvious.

Tristan was in heaven, he loved the way Jazz moved against him, the way they fit together, the way he could feel his heart beating next to his, this was how it was meant to be. He wanted Jazz bad, that much was obvious.

Slowly, reluctantly they broke from the away from the kiss, and Tristan took her by the hand and walked her off the dance floor, towards the bar. Jazz was still reeling after the kiss and was feeling kind of annoyed that it had finished.

"Wait here for me, I'll be back in a minute," Tristan confidently walked off into the crowd, leaving Jazz sitting on a bar stool looking around. Suddenly she felt someone's hot breath in her ear. She turned around to find a guy with multiple piercing's and tattoos covering his body. He was doing his best to stare down her top, and his hand was brushing up against her thigh, stroking it, and moving farther and farther up her leg.

"Tell me, what's a girl like you doing in a place like this?"

Jazz just stared at the guy for a minute. _That creep, that pig, he actually used that chat up line on me, ewwww, and what makes the son a bitch even think he would have a chance in hell with me. _

Jazz stared him straight I the eye, leant seductively forward and whispered into his ear, "Trying to avoid pricks like you."

Suddenly a strong hand clamped down on the guys shoulder, it was Tristan.

"Stay away form my girl," he said, the other guy left without looking back.

Jazz smiled up at him, he really was gorgeous.

"Am I?" she asked with a smile on her face.

"Are you what?" replied Tristan, a puzzled frown on his face.

"Your girl?" Tristan's frown disappeared and he just grinned.

"Of course you are," and he swept her up into another passionate kiss.

Suddenly he broke away from the kiss, and Jazz let out a little disappointed moan. She needed him so bad. She looked up at him, and noticed that he was holding car keys.

"Thought we could go for a ride."

Jazz loved the sound of that and followed Tristan out of the club and to the car without question. It didn't matter that he was too young to drive; she just wanted to get away and go somewhere private

Soon they were parking by a beautiful big lake, the full moon reflected in the still clear waters.

"Oh…it's beautiful here…what is this place?" murmured Jazz, as she snuggled into Tristan's powerful embrace.

"Home," and with that he stood up, and got out of the car. Jazz followed, a questioning frown on her face. He led her through the trees, until they came across a huge gothic style mansion. Jazz was amazed, it was beautiful, sure it looked a little run down, with a few broken windows, and the rest boarded up, but it was still beautiful, with Gargoyles staring at tem from the roof, and huge stone pillars.

"You live here?" asked Jazz, amazed at what she was seeing. This place was beautiful, and reminded her so much of the architecture of England.

Tristan smiled at that, "I never said I lived here,"

Jazz looked confused, "But I thought you said that this was…"

"Home, yes, when I'm here I drop all pretences, and I can be my self. This house once belonged to a rich old eccentric English man who moved over here. He died, and the house has been passed down the first male of the family line for years. No one wants to live here and it has been left derelict. One day I will buy this house, and then I will live here, and it will be my home. I just thought that you should see it."

"Are you going to show me around then, or are we just going to stand here looking at it?" asked Jazz with a cheeky grin.

"Right this way," and they walked through some broken boards.

Jazz saw what would be the kitchen, the lounge, the dining room, the games room, the TV room, a room just for Tristan's clothes, a room just for his shoes, the house was enormous, but Jazz still hadn't seen the room she was most interested in.

"So tell me, where do you plan on sleeping."

Tristan led her up the huge marble staircase, up to a huge oak door. He made Jazz close her eyes before opening the door, and when he did, Jazz was amazed. This room was definitely the biggest in the house that she had seen. There was a huge four poster bed in the centre of the room, which was in remarkably good condition. The drapes, which were blood red and black were a bit moth eaten for sure, but Jazz didn't mind. To her this house was beautiful.

"Oh Tristan, this is amazing." Jazz ran to the bed and jumped onto it. She was surrounded by a sea of cushions, and she felt like a queen. Tristan came up next to her, and quickly captured her lips with his own. Jazz leant into the kiss, deepening it, and filling it with more passion. She felt his tongue flicking against her lips, requesting entrance, which she willingly gave. This was possibly one of the most intimate things that Jazz had ever done. She had had many men, for sure, but they had never taken any time over her, they had never kissed her, never held her, they saw her as an object, and used her as one. They came in to the tiny apartment, did the deed, left the money on the dresser, and then went home to their sad little lives. None of them had ever brought her to an orgasm, but she knew that this time would be different. Tristan would be different.

Running her fingers through his hair, Jazz couldn't help moaning with pleasure. Tristan's hands were moving all over her body, exploring every part of her through her clothes. Suddenly he broke away from the kiss and surveyed jazz thoughtfully.

"You know that's a very sexy top you're wearing and all, but I can't help thinking it would look better off. Now, if you could just tell me how to start and all, because there's like so many buckles and straps on there and all, and I'm not quite sure where to start." Jazz smiled at this, so she stood up and walked away from Tristan so that she was standing in the middle of the room.

"First I would start with shoes," and Jazz bent over, giving Tristan a flash of cleavage before unzipping her boots and stepping out of them, "and then it would be the skirt," Jazz reached behind her and unzipped the skirt and let that fall to the floor, "and then…what? What are you looking at?" Jazz followed Tristan's gaze, and saw that he was staring at her thighs, the fresh scabs still covering many of the cuts. "Oh, those."

"Yeah, those, Jazz what are you doing to your self, why are you doing that to your self?" Tristan looked so concerned, a frown creasing his face.

Jazz felt so bad, things had been going so well, things would have been different, and then, because of her own weakness she had gone and screwed things up. She was so angry with herself.

Sliding across the bed to Tristan, Jazz tried to kiss him, tried to recapture some of the lost mood. Tristan pulled away, a look of utter sadness in his eyes.

"Jazz, when I brought you here I wanted something to happen, hell, I wanted you, but then I saw what you were doing to yourself, and I knew that you weren't someone I could come to for a easy shag. I don't want you to think that I was leading you on or something, but I can't do this, you have a problem, and it needs sorting out. I will be here for you, and I would like to keep on seeing you but you need to sort out whatever ghosts are haunting you." Tristan spoke with such sadness, and compassion, and love that Jazz could do nothing but nod, tears spilling out of her eyes, black tracks of mascara staining her cheeks.

"Okay… okay Tristan, but I think you should take me back to my house now, I should go," and Jazz stood up, but her skirt and boots back on and walked out of the room, back towards the car.

Tristan let out a huge sigh, who knew there was so much to Jazz, today at lunch she had seemed so happy and care free.

The drive back to Jazz's house passed in silence, Jazz staring out of her window, looking at the rain as it pelted down, Tristan watching the road.

When they arrived at Jazz's house she ran out of the car and to the door without do much as looking back, not because of the rain, she loved the rain, but because she needed to put as much space between her and Tristan as possible.

She opened the door and found her parents waiting for her. They started to say something, but she just looked at them, tears spilling over her cheeks, before running upstairs and locking the door.

Opening her cupboards she moved the clothes aside, and picked up the razor, and cut at her thighs, again and again, watching the blood flow down the white skin of her legs.

It wasn't enough though, something was different, Jazz wasn't getting the release, the freedom that she usually did. She placed the razor on the side of the bath, and looked down at her wrists where the leather cuffs were in place covering the scars there.

Reaching out with trembling fingers, Jazz took off the cuffs, and picked up the razor. With one finger she drew a black nail across the scar, and then quickly drew the blade across the scar. Suddenly she felt the release she had desired, the freedom, the chains that were binding her had been removed, and she was flying, free, and then everything went black.

Thanx to Kilara-May, first reviews are always good, and I hope you like this chappie.

A/N sorry to end it there and all, but I will update soon, hopefully before Christmas and all………oh yeah, one thing, after Christmas I'm going on a choir tour to Europe, so I wont be able to update for a month. Sorry bout that….will try and put at least another chapter up before I go.


	4. Memories

Chapter 4: Memories

It all seemed to be passing in a dream, the shouting voices… the red blood, the flashing lights… the red blood, people standing around her… the red blood, sinking in and out of consciousness… the red blood.

When she next awoke there was a kindly looking nurse standing next to her bed, changing the drip over. When she saw Jazz opening her eyes, she smiled down at her, a very toothy, sickening kind of smile.

"You had us worried there, we were afraid you weren't going to make it. How are you feeling?" asked the nurse in a sickly sweet forced kind of voice.

Jazz just groaned and rolled over in her bed, shut her eyes again, and swiftly drifted back into unconsciousness.

During this time she dreamed, dreams of pain, fear, anger, hate. Dreams of hope, happiness, compassion, love. Dreams of Tristan, and what nearly was. Dreams of her brother, and her old life, her life that still hunted her. And Yugi, she dreamed of Yugi, and the kiss that they had shared. Somehow it was always his face that appeared out of the cloudy fog of her drugged mind.

The next time Jazz woke up, there was no nurse staring down at her. Instead, crowded into the cramped space were Tristan, Yugi, Joey, Bakura, and Tea. Everyone had concerned expressions on their faces, and Tristan seemed to look almost guilty. Jazz couldn't understand why though.

When they saw that she was awake, everyone just stood there and smiled at her. Tea came forward, and held one of Jazz's hands in between her hands for a moment.

"We're glad you're awake, and getting better Jazz," she said with a broad grin, "we've all been so worried about you."

This was almost too much for Jazz, and she could feel tears welling up in her eyes. These guys actually cared about her, actually worried about what was going to happen to her. Last time she had woken up in hospital there had been no one there to see if she was okay, only social services, nurses, and a doctor who insisted on trying to be 'cool' but instead looking like a fat old ageing Beatles fan.

Jazz tried to blink back the tears, but she couldn't help it, and she felt them spilling out, and running down her cheeks. Tristan looked for one moment at the tears, like pearls, shining on her pale skin, before flashing a warning glance at his friends. He wanted to be alone with Jazz; there were some things they had to talk about.

"Umm….yeah, we should go….see you later, Jazz," said Joey, before quickly leaving the room. Jazz looked up, just in time to see Yugi leaving. Something flashed between them, a look of understanding, before he was gone. Jazz shook it off though, thinking that she must be imagining it, a result of the drugs still coursing through her body, and she turned to look at Tristan. She was surprised to see that he was crying.

"Jazz, I'm so sorry, I…'

"Sorry for what, you didn't do anything," Jazz felt so confused about the way he was acting, what was he sorry for, none of this was his fault.

"Well, you tried to commit suicide, didn't you? And you did that after what had happened at the house. The way I see it, I did or said something to upset you, like turning you down that night, and so you went home, and did this to yourself. So, didn't I do a lot?"

Jazz smiled sadly at Tristan, not sure how she was going to explain what she had been thinking and feeling that night. "It was not your fault Tristan. It's kinda hard to explain, but cutting is a way of controlling my life. It also gives me a moment of freedom, of release. That night, I felt I had no control over what was happening. I was angry with my self for been so weak, and I needed that release to escape from all of the feelings that were inside of me. So I cut where I usually did, at the tops of my thighs, you saw the evidence of that. It didn't help though. It was like this pressure was building up inside of me, and I needed a way to release it. It was almost like I was hypnotized, or in a trance, or something, like I wasn't in my body. I remember looking at my wrist, the blue veins, and the way the light played off the blade on my wrist, the pain I felt when I cut my wrist, but also the pleasure, and then the next thing I knew I was flying, if you can understand that. I was free, nothing was tying me down, the ghosts were gone, and I was flying. I didn't mean for it to happen, I must have cut to deep or something. So it wasn't you fault, or anybody else's. It was all my fault, my weakness that caused me to come here. Please don't blame yourself." At this point Jazz couldn't do anything to stop crying. She clung desperately to Tristan's shirt, sobbing into his shoulder. He had sat tense and unmoving throughout that little speech, but when Jazz had finished he leaned forward, and wrapped his strong arms around her. He stroked her tangled hair as he whispered into her ear, "shh, its okay, your safe here, your going to be fine," Tristan wasn't exactly sure about what he was saying, only that he felt this deep need to comfort Jazz, to stop her crying, to ease her pain.

A nurse opened the door, and poked her head around the door.

"Excuse me, but I must ask you to leave. Jazmin has been through a traumatic event, and we can't have here getting to upset. She also has an appointment with a psychiatrist. I'm sure you understand."

Tristan looked for one moment at Jazz, tears still streaming down her face, before making a decision. He wanted her to get better, then they could be happy, but until then there would always be this shadow hanging over them.

"Jazz, I have to go, I'll be back, and I'll come and visit."

Jazz looked so desperate, and clung even harder to his shirt, "No Tristan, no you can't leave me, oh, fuck, please don't leave me." Tristan gently disentangled himself from her vice like grip and stood up. He planted a kiss gently on her mouth, and left the room. He didn't want to look back, because he knew that Jazz would see the tears falling down his face, the tears he was crying for her, and he knew that she wouldn't want his pity; she would only want his comfort. Pity would destroy her, so he didn't look back.

_Look back, turn around, let me see your face, and I'll know that you still love me, even though I've screwed up, just turn around Tristan, please, turn around. _Jazz was desperate, she couldn't help feeling that she had screwed up. She just needed to see Tristan one more time before he left, one look, and she would know that it was all okay. He didn't look back, and Jazz fell deeper into despair. She couldn't help feeling that maybe it would have been better if she had died.

"So, how is she?" Everyone gathered round Tristan when they saw him come out of Jazz's room. They saw the tears staining his cheeks, and knew that it couldn't be good. They also knew how he felt about Jazz, and were filled with pity for him. He seemed to really like her, and the pain that she was feeling was almost killing Tristan as well.

Only Yugi was distant, standing apart from the group of friends as they comforted Tristan. He couldn't think of anything to say, as it felt wrong, Tristan and Jazz together.

_Now is the time I wish you hadn't told me about all that soul mate shit Yami, I mean, what am I meant to say to Tristan? _"I'm sure it will all be fine, but Jazz is my soul mate, so your relationship won't last, don't worry though." _Yeah, I can see that working._

_Patience Yugi, patience. Just be there for Tristan when he needs you, and don't betray any of your feelings, as you could loose his respect and trust, as well as Jazz's. Wait, and trust in her, and she will find you. She has a lot of demons in her past, and before she can go anywhere, she must first lay them to rest. _

Yugi felt complete and utter despair at Yami's words. He didn't want to wait for Jazz, he wanted her, and needed her now. He had to though, he had to let Tristan and Jazz realize that their relationship just wouldn't work; he had to let them break up on their own. He couldn't help them with this. It was probably one of the most painful experiences of his life, the way in which Jazz looked at Tristan, and the way that he looked back at her.

"mmmm, Joey, it's been so long," Tea reached out a hand, and proceeded to play with Joey's long hair, braiding it and knotting it, before undoing it, and repeating the process.

And he pulled Tea into another kiss, rolling over on his bed so that he was on top, elbows supporting his weight off Tea. Tea ran her hands through Joey's hair, kissing him with more and more passion.

They broke away for a moment, giving Tea to talk for a bit, before the passion she was feeling completely consumed her.

"How are things with you and Bakura going, I mean, you don't have to tell me, but I would like to know, I mean, in some way he is as much apart of this relationship as both of us." Tea shot a glance at Joey to see how he was taking this. He sat very still, his face so motionless he was like a statue. It was hard to explain what he was feeling, he was so confused. To him his relationships with Tea and Bakura were completely different and not to be mixed. They both knew that Joey 'swung both ways' and both were happy with the arrangement. For them it didn't matter that they had to share him, they both knew that he loved them. Most people were surprised at this arrangement, but they were happy, and their friends accepted them, so for Tea, Bakura and Joey, life couldn't be better.

Joey sighed before replying, "He's fine, and things are going really well. I think sometimes that I love him. I just don't know if he feels the same way. I mean, how do I tell? And then I think of you, and I know that I love you, but for some reason I can't read Ryou like I can read you. There's something about him, something I don't know, and couldn't even begin to guess at. I know I love him, and I know I love you, and I know that I could never give either of you up, but everything's really good at the moment. So, yeah." Joey finished talking and Tea looked over at him. He had a confused little frown on his face, and Tea could only imagine how he was feeling.

"Smile, life's never as bad as you think it is," and Tea rolled towards Joey, and pressed her lips against his before he could protest.

Jazz lay in her bed, as lifeless as if she had been dead. She didn't know what to do. She had convinced herself that Tristan didn't love her, her parents didn't care for her, and that she didn't really have any friends, they just hung around because they felt sorry for her. All she had were ghosts of memories, from the times from when she was younger, from a time when she was happy.

She could remember sitting in her Moms lap, as her dad sang American Pie, and played along on his guitar. She could remember the way her mom smelt, the way her moms long auburn hair tumbled around her shoulders, the clothes she was wearing, and the way she looked when she smiled. She could remember the intense concentration on her fathers face as he played, his long fingers dancing across the strings. She could remember exactly what he was wearing, and exactly how he looked when he smiled. She could remember their bodies lying on the floor of the shop, bent and broken, oozing blood onto the floor. She could remember screaming and screaming, she could remember nice people who talked to her, and she could remember crying and crying. She could remember visiting the mountain top where she had scattered the ashes of her parents with her adoptive parents. She had stood on the very peak of the sheer drop, and threw of bouquet of flowers for her parents. She had followed this with a letter for them, her last good bye, a final farewell, a symbol of the end of her old life, and the start of her new one.

Pain can consume everything. It devours every happy memory, until only the bad things are left. The fights, the anger, the hate, the anguish, the torture. Pain twists what you know, until everything seems wrong, until only the pain is left. How are you meant to be happy, when pain is all you know? How are you meant to live your life and be free when it has tied you down, and there is only the misery only the misery of a twisted heart?

A/N: Thanks to Kilara-May, MiserysSin666 and Sutoriitoenzeru-street angel for reviewing. Btw, Sutoriitoenzeru-street angel, who's cut by, I would like to read it. So anyway, I wont be able to update for another four weeks at least cos of this choir tour, so sorry about that. Anyway Merry Christmas… and I hope you all get what you want!!! Sorry again about the tour, but it does mean I get to see loads of Europe.


	5. Broken Wings

Chapter 5: Broken Wings

A/N I'm back and the tour was awesome. Hope you like this chappie, and sorry it has taken me so long to post it. Dedicated to Kilara-May, who helped with writers block, and every other problem I've had while writing this chapter. Have reposted this chapter cos the other one was all confused, think i was on a sugar high at the time...so hope this is easier to understand.

The physical scars were healing; soon all that would be left was two thin pink scars, running parallel to the old ones, two more scars added to the spider's web of them crossing her skin. The mental scars, the spiritual scars would remain. Many psychiatrists, physiologists, doctors and nurses had been in to talk to Jazz, but she had closed herself off from them completely. She stared straight ahead at the wall, ignoring every question asked of her, and everything that went on around her.

Tristan kept on visiting; he hadn't given up on her yet. Everyday he would sit there, holding her hand and telling her about is day, hoping to get some reaction out of her, any reaction. He stroked her hair and told her that he loved her, and dreamt of the day when she would offer a flash of recognition, a spark of hope. He hugged her close, and tenderly kissed her, but for all the response he got, he might as well have been kissing a dead body.

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Jazz was falling. The earth was rushing up to meet her, and there was nothing she could do to stop herself. Her beautiful golden wings were bent and broken, flapping uselessly at the side of her body, she was helpless. Her mouth was open in a silent scream, as she fell like a stone.

"Help me, save me from this madness, save me from myself, help me!"

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Tristan was sitting by her bed, praying and hoping that today would be different, that today Jazz would show some recognition of him being there. He sat in the same chair as he had for the last six weeks, but today seemed even more hopeless. Staring at the zombie jazz had become, Tristan felt tears rolling down his face. This wasn't the girl he knew, the girl who had her own problems, but still seemed so full of life, the girl he had fallen in love with.

"Jazz, Jazz, please come back to me, please tell me you love me, please come back, I love you Jazz," His voice was cracking as he spoke, and he closed his eyes in despair, as he finally accepted that there was no hope.

Suddenly he felt a hand lightly brush his cheek, capturing a tear on its finger tip. Tristan opened his eyes to find Jazz staring at him, tears spilling from her lilac eyes down her cheeks, her outstretched hand holding his tear, like a pearl glistening on her finger.

"You caught me," she whispered before holding him tight, as if she never wanted to let him go.

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Soon, Jazz was well enough to be discharged from hospital. She was looking forward to it because it meant that at last she could have another proper date with Tristan, rather then a walk to the hospital cafeteria, and talking over crappy coffee. They never had any privacy, and she missed being able to kiss him.

Jazz sat on the edge of the bed, her bag sitting beside her, and looked down nervously at what she was wearing. She wanted to look her best for Tristan. A short black leather skirt hugged her hips, and the knee length boots showed off how thin her legs were. The fishnet top complemented the skirt perfectly, and a large studded collar completed the outfit. The usual leather cuffs around her wrists were in place, Jazz had done her makeup, and with Serenity's help Jazz had dyed her hair black again, and added more hot pink high lights.

Suddenly the door swung open, and Jazz's parents entered the room. They looked so happy to see Jazz, and Jazz was so happy to be going home, but as the door slammed shut behind her parents Jazz felt a wave of despair wash over her as she realized that Tristan wasn't here. She had hoped so much that he would come with her parents; she needed to be able to hold him again without having to withstand the disapproving stares of the doctors and nurses. Still trying to smile, Jazz hugged her parents and followed them out to the car.

Jazz walked through the front door of the house, dumped her bag in the hallway, and started up the stairs to her bedroom. Before she was even halfway there her parents were calling her back down, saying they needed to talk to her.

Jazz headed into the living room, and as she turned on the lights, a huge cheer of "WELCOME HOME" echoed around the room, as people jumped up from their hiding places. Everyone was there, Yugi, Tea, Serenity, Mai, Ryou, Joey and, most importantly of all, Tristan.

"Oh my God guys, this is amazing," screamed Jazz. She could believe what her friends; and her parents had done for her. The room was covered in brightly colored streamers, and balloons were bobbing on the ceiling. A huge banner was stretched across the room, proclaiming in rainbow colors "WELCOME HOME JAZZ."

Resting by the table was a pile of brightly wrapped gifts from everyone. Jazz slowly sank onto a chair and stared at them.

"You guys really didn't need to do this, I mean, this is so nice, and I don't deserve this."

"Course you do, Jazz, we all love you, and figured this would be a nice way to say that we were glad you were better, and that we were happy you could home at last," smiled Tea, "anyway, we have made a deal with your parents. We are allowed to take you out to McDonald's for some high class cuisine, and then you can come and sleep at my house, but you must promise to have a good time and worry about nothing in return. I'm sure you can manage that."

Jazz's face broke into a huge grin as she leapt up and gave both her parents a huge hug.

"Are you sure, I mean, you don't mind me doing this, I mean…thanks Mum, thanks Dad, I owe you." And with that Jazz was running up the stairs, Serenity and Tea following her to help her pack.

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"Ok, ok, what do I need?" said Jazz as she stood in the centre of the room and tried to decide what to take. Suddenly she seemed to have way to much stuff.

"A bag is a good place to start," laughed Serenity as she emptied Jazz's rucksack on the floor, before flinging open the doors to Jazz's wardrobe, and rifling trough draws.

"Take a nice change of clothes Jazz," whispered Tea, "your parents don't know but we're taking you out clubbing afterwards, and with Tristan there you will want to look your best, and don't worry, you find what to wear, we'll pack your PJ's and stuff."

McDonalds was as busy, really busy. There was a press of people at the tills, and Tristan was ordering as quickly as possible.

"7 Big Macs, a cheese burger, a fillet o' fish and chicken nuggets, all of them with coke and all of them large, and 8 apple pies, Thanks."

After paying, Tristan wove his way through the crowds of people, expertly carrying the three trays needed for all of the food. He couldn't help it that Joey and him could eat two Big Mac meals each.

He slid in to the chair next to Jazz and placed the trays on the table as eight pairs of hands reached for their food. Tristan slipped his arm around Jazz's thin shoulders, and whispered into her hair, "welcome home babe." Then he kissed her head before starting on his food.

As they were laughing at some of Mai's sexual escapades at school, Jazz glanced over at Joey and Ryou, and saw them staring into each others eyes, and Joey had a protective arm around Ryou's shoulders.

_Yes, there is definitely something going on between them, good, they make a cute couple, _thought Jazz as she looked at them.

Soon it was time to go out and party; they were going to Bar None again, but Jazz wanted to get changed first. She ran to the McDonalds toilets and was getting changed as quickly as she could. She was still conscious of the scars on her wrists, so the studded leather cuffs stayed in place. Then Jazz placed a purple diamante cross on a thick chunky black chain round her neck. This had been given to Jazz many years ago by a friend and was very special to her. To this she added fishnet stockings, knee high black boots and a pink and black striped skirt. Peeling off her fishnet top, jazz noticed how thin she had become during her stay at hospital. It meant she could eat more chocolate. She slipped the new top over her head and smiled at what she saw. The top was made of hot pink silky material for the bust, below that a slit ran up the middle of the black satin exposing Jazz's toned abs, and pierced stomach. She knew she looked good, and that Tristan would love this. Finally she added a ring to the outfit. It was a snake, coiling and writhing its way up her finger.

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At Bar None there was the usual queue of people outside, and, like last time, they passed everyone, and were allowed in, no questions asked.

As soon as they had entered the club and Jazz breathed in the smoky air, she felt all her troubles melt away. This was another world, a world where she didn't have to worry about anything, a world where it was just her and Tristan and the music. This was her world.

Taking Tristan's hand she moved onto the crowded dance floor and slid her hands around his neck, holding him close. His hands snaked around her hips and pulled her close as he ground his pelvis into hers. Jazz felt her face go hot with desire, and as she looked into his eyes se could see that they were alight with flame filled passion. They moved their bodies, like one being, perfectly in time to the music, hips grinding, and Jazz's long black hair flying out behind her.

Resting her cheek next to his Jazz whispered into his ear, "thank you, thank you so much."

Tristan was confused; he didn't think that he had done anything, "thank you for what?"

Jazz pulled away slightly and looked Tristan in the eyes. Now they had stopped dancing, they were standing, facing each other, holding hands, but they weren't dancing.

"Thank you for believing in me, for not giving up in me, for saving me. Thank you for loving me Tristan."

Then Jazz hugged Tristan, felt his strong arms around her shoulders, felt them protecting her, and she knew that she was safe with Tristan.

"Let's go get a drink, and find the others."

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"A Vodka Cruiser and a pint of bitter, thanks."

Tristan grabbed the drinks and slid into a booth next to Jazz. Yugi, Ryou and Joey were here, the girls all having gone off to dance.

As soon as Tristan sat down Yugi broke off from what he had been saying, and immediately looked uncomfortable.

_Wonder what's with that, _thought Jazz, _must be some fight or something the guys are having, none of business, I'll leave it, if either of them wants to talk to me they can._

"Ummm, I…have to go to…somewhere, ummm…..the toilet, I have to go to the toilet," and after that strange statement Yugi rushed off without a backward glance.

Joey looked at Jazz and Tristan, the glances they kept giving each other, the way Tristan's hand was rubbing Jazz's leg, and knew it was time he and Ryou left them in peace. He also wanted a chance to make out with Ryou in private.

"Ummm, we should go to Ryou, go find the girls or something," said Joey, with a meaningful glance at Tristan and Jazz.

"Yeah…yeah, right, ummm, let's go," said Ryou as he slid out of his chair with graceful ease.

Jazz was laughing. "I think they got the hint. I've not been alone with you for so long, I've missed you. So, maybe you should give me a welcome home present my parents wouldn't approve of -"

But before Jazz could say anything else, Tristan's mouth had covered hers, and his tongue was dancing around her mouth. Jazz's response was filled with the passion she had had to keep in check for the past months. She was surprised at just how familiar his mouth was, and how familiar he tasted, it was like coming home.

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Yugi couldn't believe how much it hurt to see Tristan and Jazz together. Maybe he should tell her, maybe he should fight Tristan. He had to do something to make jazz love him.

_Patience my dear Yugi, Jazz needs time to find her self, give her a chance, be there when she needs you, and soon, I promise she will realize, soon she will love you to. _Thought Yami. He could feel Yugi's pain and anguish, and knew that this could destroy him. He must hold on and be strong.

Leaving the quiet of the toilets for the smoky atmosphere of the club, Yugi headed back for the table. He needed a drink.

Turning the corner he saw Jazz and Tristan, partly hidden by shadows, arms wrapped round each other, kissing passionately. Yugi felt his heart might burst, seeing Jazz and Tristan together. Before he had always been able to tell himself they were just good friends, but now, and with this, there was no doubt left.

Letting out a cry, Yugi turned and ran.

Jazz and Tristan didn't even hear him.

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"You fucking poufs, you have no right to be here!" came a shout from the other side of the club. Everyone stopped dancing.

Jazz and Tristan broke apart when those words managed to sort themselves out into conscious though. This meant trouble.

Somewhere near the dance floor a punch was thrown, a yell let out, and the club broke into mayhem. Bottles were being broken over heads and knifes were pulled. Jazz looked panicked eyed at Tristan, looking to him for reassurance. This evening was fast turning into a disaster.

"Jazz, run, no matter what you hear, get away from here, go to Tea's house, we will meet there. You know how to get there, right?"

"Yes, course, but Tristan-"

Jazz broke off as a body was thrown onto the table, a long jagged cut down his face, and glass sticking out of his head.

"Go Jazz, run!"

Jazz turned and left the club, leaving the smoky club and entering the real world again. Now she didn't know which was safer.

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Jazz ran and ran, not looking at where she was going. Left, then right, then left again. Where was she? It looked like some dark alley. She could see as homeless guy sleeping nears some over turned trashcans.

Suddenly a voice came out of the darkness.

"Hello Jazz."

Jazz turned and stared at the shadows, hoping to see who was hiding there.

"W...w...who are you?" stuttered Jazz, her heart filled with fear.

The voice laughed. "Why Jazz, don't you recognize me, I'm your own personal guardian angel."


	6. Woops

Chapter 6:

The voice laughed and someone stepped out of the shadows. Jazz gasped, and then laughed when she saw who it was. Duke, the guy who had given her a lift that one night, the first day she had met Yugi and all of friends, Duke was the guy who had helped her when she was lost. It seemed like centuries ago when he had given her his number and kissed her on the cheek good bye. Jazz had a feeling she would have a lot of explaining to do, she had never called him back.

"So, do you want my help? I figure you look a little lost again," Duke smiled at her good naturedly, his dice earring swinging.

"Oh, thank you so much, I don't have a clue where I am or where I'm meant to be for that matter," replied Jazz, almost fainting with relief. She had thought she was in so much trouble, that she was about to be raped and murdered, that she was about to be kidnapped, that she was about to be tortured by some sick minded bastard. All of these horrible images had gone through her mind, but now she knew she was safe.

"Listen, I'll take you out for a drink, and then find you somewhere to crash for the night, would that help?"

"Oh, thank you so much. I need help right now, something bad happened at the club I was at with friends, and we all ran. We were separated, and I can't remember my friends address. This will help so much. Thank you."

Duke placed a hand on her elbow, and steered her towards his car. It was just as rusty as last time, but if possible, was even dirtier. As Duke turned the key in the ignition heavy rock music was pouring out of the speakers. Jazz closed her eyes and began to loose herself in the music, when suddenly it was turned off.

"You know Jazz," said Duke, a playful smile tugging at his lips, "I think you're using me."

Jazz turned to him quickly, a frown marring her smooth forehead.

"What I mean is, you only ever seem to see me when you need me, and you never called me back that time."

Jazz felt kind of bad. Sure she had kind of forgotten about Duke the next day, he was just the nice guy who had helped her home, but maybe he had wanted to stay in touch, and then the whole hospital thing happened and Jazz just hadn't thought about him.

Jazz explained all of this to him, and when she told him about the cutting his face had an unreadable expression on it.

Jazz asked him what as wrong and he turned to her, tears gathering on his bottom lashes. "I knew someone who that happened to, she wasn't found in time."

Then he turned away, and angrily swept an arm across his face. Jazz pretended not to notice his tears. He wouldn't want a fuss.

The rest of the ride passed in silence.

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Duke led Jazz to a small smoky bar, in a quiet out of the way corner. Jazz liked it immediately. There was no risk, no chance of fights, and the bartender was friendly. It seemed perfect.

Duke ordered two drinks and they sat down in a quite booth. Soon they were talking and laughing as if they had been friends for years, and Jazz was having a fantastic time. The terror she had felt in the club was soon forgotten. Instead she kept drinking.

Grabbing a bottle of whisky, his deck of Duel Monster cards, and a set of dice, Duke straddled the chair facing Jazz and gave her a wicked grin. He was getting drunk just as fast as her, and felt like some fun.

"What say you I teach you a little drinking game I created."

As he taught her the rules and made Jazz try a few examples Jazz had consumed most of the whisky. In the came that followed she lost just as many times as she won, and succeeded in getting thoroughly pissed. She was laughing hysterically, as was Duke, and he was getting a few enviously looks from the lonely guys nursing their beers.

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Soon it was time for the bar to close, so Jazz and Duke staggered outside, still laughing, clinging on to each other for support. They were smashed out of their skulls.

"Oh, shit," slurred Duke. He was frantically searching is pockets, looking for his car keys, but he couldn't find them anywhere. Unknown to him, the friendly bartender had slipped them out of Duke's pocket as he brought them another bottle of whisky, knowing that he was too pissed to drive, He also knew that Duke would be back for them when he had recovered from his hangover. This had happened before.

"Looks like I'm not driving you anywhere tonight," slurred Duke again, still smiling and laughing with Jazz, "how 'bout you come crash at my place, it's just a few houses away from here."

Jazz was to drunk to say anything, she just laughed, and followed Duke as he walked (more like staggered) down the street, for all of 100 meters. Duke bent down, trying his best not to fall over, and fished a key out from under a flower pot. Suddenly he lost his battle with gravity, and ended up with his arse stuck in the flower pot.

Of course this set him and jazz off laughing again, and it was all she could do to help him up. Of course she nearly over balanced in the process.

After a great deal of fumbling Duke found his front door key and somehow managed to unlock the door. He and Jazz stumbled into the house and crashed onto the couch, still laughing hysterically.

Finally as their laughter subsided and the giggling had stopped and awkward silence fell on the room. Somehow, through his drunken haze, Duke was aware of Jazz, one thigh pressing against his own, her head resting lightly on his shoulder, and his hand resting on her leg. He was aware of how close she was, and how much she awakened his most animalistic savage basic desires.

Suddenly, without even thinking about it, he lent over and kissed her. It wasn't a soft gentle kiss such as what she had with Tristan, but was harder, and Duke basically forced his way in to her mouth. Jazz was too drunk to notice, or to care just how rough he was being, and she wanted this just as much as he wanted her. She rolled over, so that she was straddling Duke, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, hard lips crushing each other.

When Jazz awoke the next morning she was aware of the weight of someone else's arm snaking around her hips. She was also aware of a toned body pressing up against her back and a leg resting on top of hers.

As carefully as she could she rolled over on to her back, trying not to wake the sleeping person up, and turned her head to kiss him.

Where she had been expecting Tristan though she found Duke's sleeping face. Jazz flinched away from him, and sat up with a start. She was lying on the floor of what she assumed must be Duke's house. She looked around and saw a smashed lamp and Duke and her clothes strewn across the floor.

She heard a murmur and looked over at Duke as he began to stir. Looking round frantically, Jazz grabbed whatever clothes she could and a few pillows off the sofa, and did her best to cover her nakedness. This was all wrong, it shouldn't be like this, she was meant to be with Tristan. Jazz felt shit for what she had done, or thought she had done. She couldn't actually remember.

Duke sat up, took one look around the room and at Jazz, before hitting his forehead with his hand. "Fuck." He immediately regretted it, in fact he regretted even getting up this morning, he had the king of all hangovers, and he didn't want to know what had gone on with jazz last night, although, looking round him he could pretty much guess.

"Morning," he mumbled as he stood up, and pulled his black boxers on.

There was that terrible morning after awkwardness in the long silences. Jazz just sat on the floor, doing her best to fight back tears. How could she have done this to Tristan, how could she have betrayed him like this, and with someone she barely knew.

She gathered up her clothes, but borrowed a T-shirt off Duke as at some point last night, one of the straps on her top had ripped, but she really hoped she didn't meet Tristan or any of the gang, because they were sure to notice the rumpled clothing, and the fact that the T–shirt she was wearing was way to big for her slim frame. They would wonder where she had been. So would her parents for that matter, but Jazz wasn't so bothered about them. They could jump to all the conclusions they wanted, but she would never deny or admit to anything. She had learnt to keep secrets close to your heart a long time ago. But what to do about Tristan?

What had happened last night had been nothing more then drunken stupidity. There had been no love, no connection, and no meaning to what had happened last night. Both of them knew it, both of them knew that it was just lust, that there had been nothing there, a night of drunken passion which would come back to haunt them.

Jazz felt like she could cry, but she also felt like she could stick her head in a bucket and throw her stomach up. She wasn't sure what she wanted to do, or what she wanted to do. If this had happened to her six months ago, she would have gone home, and found the knife, and would have cut herself till it didn't hurt anymore. But she wasn't going to do that, Tristan meant too much for her.


End file.
